it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
