Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
