Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
