she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
