in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
