you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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