How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
