The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
