Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
