how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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