after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Randomize
