I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize