whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
