Plan B is the new Plan A
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
