are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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