WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
