And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
