And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
