Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
