i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
