Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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