i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
