I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She bit a glass in half.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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