i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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