ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
