so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
