Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can I color on your dick again?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
