he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
