just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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