i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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