There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
