Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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