I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
