I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
