I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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