I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
