It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
