I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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