Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize