I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
