I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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