I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
