I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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