how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
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Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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