oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
