Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
