Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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