I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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