Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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