Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
