hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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