sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That accounts for only three of the penises
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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