dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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