party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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