Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
