But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
