I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
