lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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