so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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