there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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