Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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