Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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