All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
