Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
