No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
