the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize